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Archive for the ‘Question’ Category

When Things *Do* Work Out…So Far Anyway

My last couple of posts have been centering around when we don’t remain in a space of question.  It’s interesting how things can spiral right down the crapper when we aren’t asking questions.

So, what is possible when we do remain in that space of question?

Dating 101

A few years ago, I found myself single again and dating.  I approached the prospect of dating in a different way…kind of wanting to test it out and see what occurred.  So, I pretty much went out with anyone who asked…unless I had that creepy feeling in my gut from the get-go.  In that case, I did not say yes.  I enjoyed the process…meeting new people, learning about different perspectives, laughing, free food & drinks.  How does it get any better than that!??!

And since I wasn’t trying to land a new husband, I was able to just be me & they could take it or leave it.  It was infinitely more fun that way, for me.  If they thought I was weird and never called again, cool.  If the first date was fun and they asked for a second, cool.  If the first date was fun and they didn’t ask for a second, cool.  It was filled with lightness.

One of my favorite perspectives on dating comes from the movie Fools Rush In.  In it Matthew Perry offers this interesting and pretty accurate account of dating:

Let me ask you a question.  What the hell is dating anyway?  Except some long drawn out process of elimination where you both try to present your best sides while hiding the real you.  And that can only last about three months anyway, because eventually it leaks out and then you spend the next three months getting to know your real selves.  And then one of you wants a commitment.  The other one wants to bail.  Then you have to start all over again.

I did not do this.  For some reason, I was able to remain in a space of question and lightness and fun.  When I looked at dating, when I went into dating, I fully expected to play the field, as some might say.  I didn’t view it that way..and that’s what society calls it right?  I viewed it as being selective.  As not settling for anything less than phenomenal.  And from my point of view, the most fun way to do that was to meet as many different people as possible to see what was fun for me.  So that’s exactly what I did.

How many people settle?!  How many people bend, fold, staple and mutilate themselves to fit the mold of this person they meet just so they can have “relationship?”  Yea.  THAT!  No, thank you.

Being in Question

Staying in this space of question created a unique experience for me.  I met a guy and we went on a date and had fun.  He asked if we could go out again sometime.  I asked if that would be fun & rewarding and it was light & expansive.  So we went out again.  We continued to date for a while.  And at no point did I “decide” that he must be the one.

I recently went back and took a little walk down memory lane, reading old emails, when I was *supposed to be* cleaning up my way overcrowded inbox.  It was interesting how both of us said on more than one occasion, “I have no idea if this is going anywhere or what is ahead, but we’re having fun and I really enjoy spending time together.”

Somehow, we both managed to walk in this space of question and possibility without getting hung up in conclusions like “He’s Mr. Right” or “She’s the one.”

Staying in Question

It’s now a full 2+ years later and we are still playing in question.  Even as we plan our wedding, we are able to move through it all in a space of question and “no idea what’s next.”  And yes, some days may be less or more fun than others and yet, if I step into a space and look at what would my life look like in 1 year or 3 years or 5 years if he wasn’t in it, it feels heavy and blah.  And when I step into a space of “What will my life look like in 3 years or 5 years or X years with him?”  There is lightness and expansiveness and fun.

So, maybe he’ll choose to stick around.  He could always choose not to.  And my life will be all the better for having him in it.  Whether it lasts another month or the rest of my lifetime, I am grateful for the joy and fun and ease that I have had so far.  I am grateful for everything he has contributed to my life and my children’s lives.  What a gift!

Have you experienced a time when you “listened to your gut” and things worked out even better than you could have imagined?  I’d love to hear about it.

In Gratitude,

One Conscious Chick!


Why do we need a 2X4?

No.  I am not talking for building houses and such.  They are definitely required for such endeavors.

I am talking intuition.

The Feather

Oftentimes, when we are looking at a choice, we get “information” about that choice.  And it usually comes in the form of some feather-like touch from God or the Universe or whatever your flavor is for that higher knowing.  We get a gut feeling that it might not work out so well.  Or maybe a little voice inside us tells us that it’s not such a great idea or that there’s something better out there.  Whatever form the message comes in, it is usually delivered with something very light and subtle.

It’s not that we don’t hear it or feel it.  It’s not that subtle.  We usually “get a sense” about that choice.  We just choose to bypass it.

The 2X4

Since we choose to ignore the feather and bypass that knowing, we usually get the 2X4.  We tell ourselves, “I’m sure it will be fine” or “I’ll just try it for a little bit” or some other justification for ignoring that little voice or that gut feeling.  (Maybe the fact that we are looking at it as a short-term trial should be a red flag, right?)  We move forward into the choice anyway.

Things usually go horribly wrong at this point.  Well, maybe not right away, but pretty quickly.  We get more and more information about the choice, maybe even daily.  And we tell ourselves that we are stuck now.  “I should at least give it a fair shot and 2 weeks isn’t really giving it the ol’ college try.”  Maybe the money is good.  Maybe it isn’t the money, but the people you’re around…maybe they are really fun.  Maybe it’s the environment.  But now we’ve convinced ourselves that we are somehow obligated to stay.

And the information keeps piling in.  We see things we don’t really wanna be seeing.  We hear things we don’t really wanna hear.  We keep telling ourselves it will get better.

It doesn’t.

The Fall Out

It can be pretty ugly.

We may not be consciously aware of it, but by this point, we are so thoroughly disgusted with ourselves for not listening to that little voice 4 months ago that there is no pretty way to exit.  So it can be ugly.

Now, we’ve seen things and heard things and we have all that information seething and writhing wanting to just spew out.  We know the “other side” of things now and there is no un-seeing or un-hearing.

We cannot un-know what we know.  (Think about how silly that is.)

No Question

Again, notice there is no question anywhere in this.  There is lot of decision and conclusion (all the have-to’s and obligations).  Not-so-much question.

So, what would it take to remain in the space of question so that we don’t have to get a 2X4 to the head to get the message??  What would it take to listen to the little voice in the first place?  Would it make life easier?  Would that be fun or what?

What would life look like if there were no more 2X4’s to the head?

It might look like less drama.  More fun.  More peace.  Less angst.  Less obligation.  More joy.

Yes.  Thank you.  I’ll have more of that please.

In Gratitude,

One Conscious Chick!

Where’s the Question?

Yesterday I wrote about going all-in.  After I posted it, I became aware of something new.  Don’t you just LOVE that??!  I know I do.


Seriously.  Where was the question in all that?

When I am hyper-focus, I don’t seem to be asking any questions either.  I tunnel-vision question right out of my life and living too.  Interesting choice.  WHAT ELSE IS POSSIBLE??

So, what would it take for me to remain in a space of question?  What would it take to remain in a space of making choices (instead of completing obligations, etc)?

Oh!  And Let’s Not Forget….Where’s The FUN?

I mean, maybe for some people, tunnel-vision is fun but for me, it is not!  So what would it take to have more fun?  What would my life look like if I had “tunnel-vision” on fun???  Ooooooooooooohhhhh, that sounds…well…fun!  I’ll have more of that, please.

Anyway, that’s all.  Just desired to share that tid-bit of awareness too.  hehehe

In Gratitude,

One Conscious Chick!

What a Difference a Year Makes

I’ve been pondering over the last couple of weeks how vastly different my life looks now when I look back to this time last year.  Or 3 years ago.  Or five years ago.  It’s pretty wild to think that I cannot even *relate* to the person 5 years ago.  I wonder where I would be if I hadn’t chosen the path I’ve chosen…if I’d walked a different trail.

How is not my job…

Do you recall when the lovely Maggie wrote about this?  How it shows up is not my responsibility.  And I can tell you…

If anyone had painted a picture of my current life for me say, 5 years ago…if they’d said, “In 5 years, you’ll be x, y & z, ” I would not have believed them.  I would have thought they were completely insane.  No way would my life look like that! is what I’d be thinking.

When I look at my life, it’s been a series of asking open ended questions about what I’d like my life to look like.  Nothing too specific most of the time.

And how it showed up in my life was not my job.  That was taken care of.  And it worked out better than I could have ever imagined.

It just keeps getting better all the time, too.

What kinds of questions…

I used questions like these to open up the possibility for change…

What are the infinite possibilities ______ can be better than I ever imagined or dreamed possible?

What would it take to have fun & interesting people to play with?

What else is possible here that I’m not getting?

What’s right about this (situation/person/etc) that I’m not getting?

I asked these questions daily, several times a day.  Then I let go of all my ideas about what it would look like, how it would be and all that garbage that we play out in our minds.  I expanded and let myself be open to whatever showed up, however it showed up.  And if something showed up that didn’t quite work, I’d ask for it to change or I’d choose something different.

It all sounds soooooo simple.

And honestly it is.  It sounds cliche.  Maybe it is.

Choice creates awareness.  So we choose one thing.  We find that choice works for us, so we choose it again.  We choose in another area and find that choice isn’t working, so we choose something else.  Without making the choice, the awareness of whether or not it works does not come.

So, CHOOSE!  Choose fun.  Choose joy.  Choose laughter.  Choose play.  Choose what works for you.

All of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory! TM

Much Gratitude!
One Conscious Chick

Would an Infinite Being have problems?

What if there is no such thing as problems?

What if the only thing that creates problems is your “point of view??”

What if what is considered problems are awareness that you’re not receiving fully.  As previously explained your point of view creates your reality and any awareness that you’re choosing to ignore may create “problems” because you’re not really seeing everything that’s going on.

Usually you’ve decided, concluded, judged somehow that looking at “this” as bad and scary and therefore it is better to just cover your eyes, ears, and go lalalala I don’t hear anything.  And or you’ve decided, concluded, judged that there’s only 1 solution that can work. And when it doesn’t work we get frustrated?

Well, how’s that working for you?

I definitely have never done this before 😛

As the expression goes, we are so cute, not too bright sometimes. Good thing is choice creates awareness, no matter how many times it takes to receive the awareness.”

So here’s a different possibility/solution if you’re willing to consider it:

First take your hands off your eyes and ears and stop going lalalala  I don’t hear anything.

Lower your “walls of protection” and take a step into the energy of what you’ve been refusing to acknowledge, receive, etc.

Next, ask questions: what awareness am I having here that I’m not getting? What can I choose differently that would make “this” change?

Usually after some time, if you’re willing to be in allowance of it you’ll get an awareness of what’s going on and also what to choose to facilitate more ease.

3rd step: choose…sometimes it doesn’t make sense until you choose and then you go ahhh, that’s what it was.  “LOL , that wasn’t so bad”(my usual expression)

You see, our mind is our most powerful creator of point of views. It will tell us that we can and can’t do.

It’s ok though because guess who created the mind?!! We did, so guess who’s even more powerful?!! That’s correct we are…we always have choice to see, to be, to choose, to act differently.

That’s all my dear friends!!

May life comes to you with EASE, JOY, and GLORY!! 😀


The OTHER Conscious Chick


In my line of work as a facilitator, I use lots of questions.  I also use lots of questions in my daily life & living.  I find that the more I question, the more possibilities I become aware of that I hadn’t noticed before.

Questions are an interesting thing though.  There are at least two types of questions.  And it’s interesting how sometimes questions can be “used against” us.  Meaning…we use questions against ourselves.

Question #1

The first type of question leads to greater awareness.  It allows for infinite possibilities.  These questions show us new and different ways of functioning in the world.

If I don’t feel well, for example, I could say:

Great.  I have a cold.  This sucks.

Or I could ask:

What is this?  Can I change it?  How can I change it?  And what else is possible?

Now, the awareness may be that some vitamins or tylenol are required…and that is fine!  There may also be something else going on.  And maybe it’s just a cold.

If I don’t ask the question and I assume it’s a cold and it sucks, then do I allow for something else to be possible?  What if it’s not a cold?

There are many questions at our fingertips.  Questions like:

How does it get any better than this?
What else is possible?
What grand and glorious adventures will I have today?
Would an infinite being truly choose this?
What would it take for ___ to show up in my life?

Part of the key to asking these questions is to not go looking for the answer.  And you can’t be vested in the outcome.  For example,

How does it get any better than this?!?
Well…I could win the lottery and pay off all my bills and buy a house and a new car.

Does that sound like infinite possibilities to you?  Or has the individual already decided what is better?  And in that decision, have they locked out any other possibilities that could have shown up?

Interesting point of view…

Question #2

The second type of question I see most often is the type that people use against themselves.  In much the same way that trying to answer the open ended question can lock out other possibilities, asking these types of questions can also lock out infinite possibilities.

What would it take for a red Mercedes convertible with tan interior and an iPod dock and heated seats and….that costs less than $10K to show up in my life?

Yea..’cause that sounds like infinite possibilities!!!  The person has already decided that this (I am not typing all of that again) is the only thing they are willing to receive.  So, if it doesn’t look exactly like this, they will never even see the gift!  How interesting is that?!

My Experience

When I started the process of divorcing my husband, I called Gary and asked him for some questions to ask.  Things were getting uglier by the minute and I really desired to facilitate something different for myself.  My awareness was that divorce didn’t have to be ugly and messy unless I chose to make it that way.  Gary gave me two questions:

What are the infinite possibilities that this could work out better than I ever imagined or dreamed possible?

What energy, space & consciousness can my body & I be that would allow the lies to be known and the truth to be seen?

So, I asked these questions, and many others, daily.  It wasn’t always pretty and there was a lot of hostility coming at me weekly, sometimes even daily.  And yet, for me, it was not stressful.  I just continued to ask questions…”What is required here?” or “What can I do today?” and “What would it take to live a life of ease and joy and glory?”

At times, I thought it would never end.  And I wasn’t even fighting!  It’s interesting to see how long a person can fight themselves.  Interesting point of view…

In the end, it worked out better than I could have EVER orchestrated on my own.  Everything was what I desired and more.  How does it get even better than that??!

Use Questions to Facilitate Greater Possibilities!

Please!  Stop using questions against you.  Get out of your own way and stop deciding what’s going to happen.  Ask questions that can facilitate something new and different.

Much Gratitude for you!
One Conscious Chick!!

All of life comes to me with ease, joy and glory!

10 Commandments

The 10 Commandments of Access Consciousness

The keys to total freedom from trauma and drama of this reality and to create your phenomenal life.

1. Ask : would an infinite being truly choose this?
2. Everything is just an interesting point of view
3. Live in 10 sec increments
4. Live in the questions (instead of the answer)
5. No form, no structure, and no significance
6. No judgment, no discrimination, no discernment
7. No drugs of any kind
8. No competition
9. Do not listen to, tell, or buy the story
10. No exclusion

Are you willing to choose YOUR PHENOMENAL life?

What else is possible?

Until next time, lovelies



The “Other” Conscious Chicky