This Valentine’s Day I got a smack in the face reminder of what can occur if I don’t ask a question. Now, it’s totally funny and I can giggle at my “Cute, not bright” moment. Then, it was a little slice of hell that I thought might never end.
Let’s rewind to the weekend preceding Valentine’s Day…
An Interesting Turn of Events
The Sunday before Valentine’s Day, I found myself fretting over insecurity in my relationship with my enjoyable other. I was worried about it ending. I was concerned that I’d set myself up for hardship because I would be left twisting if it ended.
No matter how he tried, my sweet lover could not convince me that things were OK and that I was worried about things that I didn’t need to be worrying about.
As the day progressed into Monday, the feelings of insecurity intensified and I began to question the value of relationships. I told my mom, “Maybe I’d be better off spending my life alone.” I began to mistrust relationships like marriage….”It’s just a piece of paper and doesn’t mean anything.”
By Tuesday, I was crying to random strangers on the phone. I called to inquire about insurance coverage for my son and when the lady on the other end of the phone asked what I was calling about, I burst into tears and had to describe my query through tears. (It was quite ridiculous!)
Who Am I?
On other days, I am extremely confident and self-sufficient. I rarely worry about anything, knowing that all works out in the end and that God/the Universe/Spirit has my back. I know my enjoyable other adores me to infinity and beyond the reaches of the farthest universe. While I don’t put a ton of stock in a marriage certificate being an indication of someone’s commitment to another, I do know that it oftentimes is used to represent that commitment.
Sooooo, What the Hell Happened?
Most people are aware of the drama around Valentine’s Day. It permeates commercials on TV and the radio and in stores and social circles.
I don’t have anyone special and it’s Valentine’s Day.
Is he/she “The One?”
What if he’s not Mr. Right?
What if she is Ms. Right?
What if he doesn’t propose? Does it mean he doesn’t love me?
Why won’t she commit?
…and on and on…
All of these thoughts are out there floating all around…on the breeze. Every where!
And on the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, I became a ginormous satellite dish for all the crap out there drifting on a breeze. When I perceive those energies and limitations, I take them & feel them and then apply those feelings to my individual situation.
See? I told you….CUTE, NOT BRIGHT!
So, I spent nearly 3 days in HELL over all these feelings that were NOT even mine! About half-way through the day on Tuesday, I was thinking about how “depressed” I felt and how “maybe I need medication” and all of the sudden I stopped. I thought Wait a minute, what the hell is this? Is this even mine?!!! Immediately…IMMEDIATELY…I felt lighter, happier and was able to embrace the rest of my day in joyful exuberance. How cool is that?!
Do You Take On Other People’s Energies? Tell me about your experience and if/when you realized you were picking it up elsewhere. How do you work through these situations?