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Vulnerability

We’ve maybe all been told at one point in time or another, that vulnerability is required for relationship or intimacy.  If we desire an intimate relationship with another individual, we have to be willing to be vulnerable.

For many people this can be scary.  It’s kind of uncharted territory.  Or maybe they’ve been burned in the past when they’ve been vulnerable.

I received some new information about vulnerability this weekend that helped me SO tremendously, I just HAD to share it with all of you!  I was in a class on working with kids & teaching them to know that they know with the brilliant & phenomenal Dean Larson and he shed light on this in a way I’d never heard before.

Previous experiences with vulnerability

At first, I’d be willing to say that I never really got vulnerability.  I mean, I thought I knew what it was, but I didn’t know what it was.  Clear as mud, right?

Then I attended my first Access Level 1 and the facilitator spoke of vulnerability as “being as the open wound.”  Well, what the hell does THAT mean?!  Seriously.  Not only does it sound painful or at the very least, not fun, but why would I wanna be like an open wound??

Sooooo, still not getting it.

Two and a half years of looking at “being as the open wound,” and still not getting it…..

Enter Dean Larson

In a class about teaching kids to know that they know (really more like empowering them to acknowledge that they know), Dean talked about vulnerability in a different way….for me.

He related a story of working with addicts and intentionally *digging* a bit to bring up all their crud around their addiction.  Well, naturally, this made some of them quite angry which resulted in them hurling insults at Dean to try and make him feel as crappy as they felt.

And it worked.

Dean says that he went home every time feeling completely exhausted.

Then, one evening he had a new awareness.  What if their insults were like arrows that went right past his head & kept on going?  What if he could envision those insults moving past & not touching him?

Sooooo, that’s exactly what he did.  And guess what?!  He was no longer the effect of those insults.  He was no longer exhausted because the insults did not touch him.

And that, my friends, is vulnerability.

Being completely open to everything.  Making no judgment of it.  Allowing it to move through you and past you.

Aaaaaannnnnddd coming out unscathed.  How cool is that??!

If we choose vulnerability in this way, can we ever be burned by another?  Can vulnerability be scary, in this arena?

Wow!

Soooooo, what would it take for us to be as vulnerable as we can be with everyone we meet?  What would it be like if we were completely vulnerable…free from judgments, allowance of everything (including us, by the way)??  How does it get any better than that?!

One last thing from Dean

Tinker with it.  Play with it at the store.  Toy with it at the counter of the coffee shop.  Do a little vulnerability here and there with different individuals.

Cashier gives you “the look” as if to say, “Why don’t you buy your groceries elsewhere?”  You simply lay your groceries on the belt, smile and buy your groceries.  You don’t buy that they have a personal vendetta against you.  You don’t buy that they are having a bad day.  You don’t resist their behavior by calling the manager.  You make your purchase and go on your merry way.

Cashier gives you a smile and greets you warmly.  Again, you don’t buy that they love you.  You don’t buy that they must be *on something* to be so happy in a dead end job.  You don’t buy any of it.  You make your purchase and go on your merry way.

It all…the good, the bad, the ugly…moves through and past.  Nothing sticks you.

What else is possible?!

In gratitude,

One Conscious Chick!

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Comments on: "Vulnerability" (4)

  1. kac527Kelly said:

    Hi Sarah,
    Thank you for sharing your experience and this gem of wisdom from Dean. Although we’ve never met in person, I consider Dean to be a very good friend, as a matter of fact we just spoke on the phone Wednesday evening. My hope is to host a class for Dean to come and BE ALLOWANCE for parents, teachers and kids in Orlando, FL where Iive. I’m excited about how fast Access is spreading and what it’s doing for the consciousness of the planet and everything on it and in it.

    With EJ and G 😉

    Kelly

  2. This sounds a little bit like “indifference”. How is it different?
    Janice

    • Well Janice, I suppose it’s similar if you are looking only at the word/definition. When looking at the energy of the two, they appear differently to me. Indifference has an energy of apathy, of giving up, complacency. In this post, I am not referring to apathy or giving up. Vulnerability is an energy of being…where you can live as NOT being the effect of others. It’s an energy of living a life of ease, joy and glory. Where, yes, maybe things come along that suck and maybe your dearest friend gets upset and calls you a bitch….and does that have to affect you? Do you have to crawl in a hole and die a little? Or do you just allow that “insult” to move through you and you are not the effect of it and you continue to live life in ease and joy and glory? If this is not the clarity you were looking for, please ask more questions and we’ll get at it, k?
      Much gratitude!!!
      Sarah

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